29 THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN 29 YEARS

1) it’s okay to fail

I’m not sure how other 29 year olds feel when their 30th birthday is coming up. As for me, I felt like my failures grew more apparent. Celebrate what you HAVE accomplished and be grateful for another day.

2) crave to be a beginner again

I’ve been wanting to try something new for a good minute. Like point number one, it’s okay to fail at something! This goes hand in hand with being a beginner. I strongly believe in being a student of life. I always wanted to take up ballet or jiu jitsu.. or even learn a new language.

3) love your parents

We are often so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old! If you needed a reminder to call your parents, this is it. Do it now! My mom is my world. She was my worst enemy as a teenager but now my best friend as an adult <3

4) move at your own pace

Fuck what everyone is doing on Instagram. Fuck what your high school friends are doing. Fuck what your college friends are doing. Live your life at your own pace. If you had kids or want kids before marriage, fuck it. If you chose your career before a man, FUCK IT. You will move at the pace that is meant for YOU.

5) changing your career path is not bad

I think I’ve changed my career paths about 7 times between March & April LOL. Even if you’ve been in your career for many years, it doesn’t mean you have to STAY THERE. I believe our human existence carries too much curiosity to stay in the same field forever! Also, please don’t ask me where I’m headed with mine, I’m 30 and still don’t know LOL and that’s OKAY!

6) live a “fuck it” life but make it frugal

My whole life I was pretty careful with how I spent my money. My mom always pushes me to buy a house and I understand why! Be smart about your purchases! I always try to invest in timeless and practical pieces. My money goes a long way that way. I also signed up for a Chase Sapphire card, which I use the points I built to travel!

7) PAY OFF YOUR DEBT

Before you “TREAT YO SELF”, make sure your debt free. I was in $20,000 in debt plus my student loans. I made sure to at least pay off my credit card debt first. I sacrificed shopping & eating out to pay off my debt in huge chunks. If you can’t do that, just please do not pay the MINIMUM balance. Always pay more than that! P.S. I never use my debit card or cash. I only use my Sapphire card and pay off my credit card each month! Using your debit card while using your credit card doesn’t make sense to me. You’re just going to pay off your credit card with your checking account anyways? Build your credit, build some points and TRAVEL with it!

8) 30s are better than your 20s

It’s the same! Except we’re still young enough to have fun without making dumb decisions. We’re also more mindful financially! We always have experienced and seen things and know what not to repeat. I feel a little more at ease at 30. I’m caring less about what other people think. I really don’t have energy for it anymore!

9) wear the fucking sunscreen

My mom always told me to wear sunscreen on my face. I never listened. I have a lot of sunspots on my face now! Wearing sunscreen helps protect you from skin cancer, wrinkles and sunspots/freckles. If you aren’t listening to ya mama, listen to me! lol I wear Glossier’s Invisible Shield, but they’ve been sold out for a good minute. So, I’m currently using Super Goop’s Sunscreen Moisturizer. So far, it hasn’t made me break out!

10) take off your make up before bed

At the very least, keep some make up removal wipes beside your bed! I know we’re tired af at the end of the night, but you’ll be doing your skin a huge favor in the long run. Just know that make up wipes don’t take off everything, you’d be surprised how much is still on your face! So always try to go further and do your skin care routine.

11) work on every project like it’s your first

I’ve learned this a year or two in with blogging/influencing. With any project, I’m making sure I put the same energy as I did with my very first project. I strive to make sure I accept only projects I’m passionate about, not just for the money.

12) give yourself credit

Everyone on social media posts their highlight reels but only a few share the grit and grind behind it all. Don’t forget to give yourself credit even for the smallest things that you don’t think is “post worthy”. Pat yourself on the back!

13) be more self aware of how you react to others

I strongly believe in the butterfly effect. How you treat others can leave a positive or negative effect on them. I always try my best to be kind to others. If I can’t be kind, I’m very quiet! Even if people are mean to me, I think deeper like are they having a bad day? Maybe my kind act can help them change their mood.

14) BE NICE AND EXPECT NOTHING IN RETURN

Best recipe to live by. So many people offer a lending hand but expect so much in return.

15) don’t force things – let it flow organically

Someone who forces shit to happen is ignorant & aggressive. You can’t force relationships or friendships to work out. It doesn’t work that way if it’s ONE SIDED. Sometimes, TIME helps a situation out. Let it play out, what’s destined to be yours will be yours!!! All relationships should be bloomed organically. Always try to understand one another. Some people don’t move like you and that’s okay.

16) you don’t tolerate people or situations like you used to

Enough said. Ain’t no body got time for that.

17) it’s normal to see a therapist

You don’t have to be “crazy” to see a therapist. I did and it was life changing. There’s a huge stigma with mental health, but it’s actually more common than people think. People struggle with it daily but hide it because of the stigma. I also found out that students who are trying to become a therapist offer free or very affordable services to those who don’t have insurance! Check out any college and I’m sure you’ll find something fitting!

18) meditate.. do that shit pls

Practice your breathing too! Headspace is really helpful app that concentrates on various subjects: anxiety, depression, stress, etc. I don’t meditate long! It can be as little as 3 minutes. Taking a moment to find yourself again can help you in the long run.

19) now’s the time to see the world

BITCH, you better be planning to travel!!!!! I can’t emphasize this enough. If you’re a woman reading this, we MUST DO IT NOW. Before you have kids, just do yourself this favor. You won’t regret it. Seeing parts of the world has broaden my perspective immensely!

20) mari kondo the shit out of your life: clothes, books…people

I’m at this point in my life where I’m looking at everything and everyONE and ask myself, does this spark joy?! It’s completely necessary for you to start fresh and say thank you to things and people who no longer serve a purpose in your life.

21) if you don’t heal what hurt you, you will bleed on people who didn’t cut you (@theAslayway)

You can’t rely on someone else to fill the void you were supposed to heal yourself first. Don’t be selfish and make sure that you are completed healed when moving on to the next partner!

22) do what you want, post what you want, live how you want!!!!

WE AINT GIVIN A FUCK IN 2019 & MOVING FORWARD. Go ahead and post what you want. We’re not living for the validation of others.

23) DON’T LIVE SOMEONE ELSE’S DREAM

Currently trying to get through this right now. I’ve done everything my parents asked of me and I’m struggling to break free and do my own thing–career wise. Pray for a sis. lol

24) mental health is just as important as your physical health

This goes with 17 & 18. If I sound like I’m repeating myself, then it’s because I really am adamant about it! I didn’t always have GAD, but when I realized I had it, I learned to take the necessary steps to control my anxiety. I realized working out in the gym is not the only “exercising” I should be doing. I should be practicing affirmation, gratitude & meditation.

25) be careful who you get close to

Some people really just in it for the gossip. Keep your circle tight and you’ll be aiite. For me, being in the social media industry has led me to meet several people. It’s rare to meet someone genuine, so I always make sure I keep my distance but still always show respect and give them an opportunity to open up.

26) OTHER PEOPLE MAY BE TOXIC IN YOUR LIFE, BUT MAke sure you’re not the toxic one

As you get older, accountability will help you grow. Owning up to your actions towards others can help you realize how you react towards others or situations. Before pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. I’m a strong believer of what you give this world is gonna come back to you.

27) please don’t work out on only booty and abs

I remember signing up for the gym and telling the membership counselor my goal was to grow a bigger butt and get abs. I’ve learned that your body works as a whole unit, not in isolation! Overall strength over aesthetic is the wave! No, you will not get too “manly” by lifting weights. I’ve been lifting for years and I love being strong <3

28) research how you can identify PERSONALITY DISORDERs

You’ll come across people in your life that you can’t see eye to eye with. It could be family, your partner or your friends. I think it’s important to grasp a better understanding of personality traits/disorders such as narcissism, bipolar, emotional abusers, psychopaths, etc. They come or are in your life more often than you think! Not only do I suggest to gain insight on it, but also I recommend researching how to DEAL with it. I promise you things will come to light once you do.

29) LOVE YOURSELF – you can’t serve from an empty vessel

Your 20s are your selfish years. Remember to put yourself FIRST. We cannot love someone successfully without loving ourselves first. Our first love should be ourselves to know how WE want to be loved. We must feel secure before stepping into anything serious. Live life for yourself, be gracious and love yourself wholeheartedly.